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Conversation Chemistry PDF Details. The authors of the book, Mirabelle Summers and Amy Waterman, are renowned relationship therapists. Meet Your Sweet's Conversation Chemistry reviews by real consumers and expert editors. See the good and bad of Amy Waterman, Mirabelle Summers's. or is it just a scam? Read a customer's experience in this Conversation Chemistry Review! Download Mirabelle Summers' Conversation Chemistry PDF.
Well rounded, psychologically healthy, self confident men value these traits in a woman and shy away from females who show an obvious lack of self esteem with little or no confidence in themselves.
They are astute enough to realize that women with low self esteem are going to be needy…. When that happens, the man usually ends the relationship. Heads up: Most men want a woman who is self confident! In a survey of men aged 15 to 65 and older, when asked about the traits that attracted them to a woman and contributed to their falling in love with a particular female, Page 5. Here are some typical comments from men who participated in the survey: Likes herself for who she is.
Someone who values herself instead of always putting herself down. Confidence about herself. Confidence, good self-image. She should have a great life going for herself. They see such confidence as attractive and when you stop and think about it, this makes perfect sense. If you value yourself, others are more apt to value you, as well. This door swings both ways. For instance, if you attract emotionally stable, healthy men by having self confidence yourself, what type of men do you think you are liable to attract if the opposite is true and you have zero or little self confidence coupled with feelings of low self worth?
You will either attract men who: Yes, unfortunately, there are those types of men out there and they can wreak havoc with women who had little self confidence going into the relationship. Page 6. Secret 3: Independence is a Virtue Ladies, every day should be Independence Day for you! You should glory in your independence…. What kind of independence? Every kind. Financial independence is always nice, of course. But, you should strive to be emotionally independent, too. These are not attractive personality traits in either gender.
Being independent means that you have your own life, your own routine, your own income and are not likely to be emotionally or financially dependent on a man. This is important to many men, maybe even most men, when all is said and done. In a recent survey of men, when asked what was the one trait they would change about the woman in their lives, if they could; a high number of men responded that they would like for their women to be more independent, or less dependent, which amounts to the same thing.
Here are some of the answers from the survey about what the respondents wished they could change about their women that illustrates how vital a role independence can play in a relationship: An independent mind. I wish she had been more independent. Independence, doesn't need me for everything. A normal male does not want the role of the be-all and end-all of your entire existence. This puts a lot more pressure on a man than many are prepared to live with. If your guy knows that you have interests of your own, he is less likely to feel pressured to be your everything and then resent you for it.
Independent women are perceived as strong and secure, which is a plus with men who are strong and secure. And reallywould you want any other kind of man? Probably not. As far as being financially independent, this goes a long way toward maintaining the equilibrium in a relationship.
Even if you marry your dream boat and stay home being a full time mommy, you still need to have some financial independence. With the advent of the internet, there are scads of opportunities for stay at home mothers to earn an income online, working the schedule that best suits their lifestyle.
If you are still looking for that special someone, your chances of finding and keeping him when he comes along will be much higher if you work at maintaining your independence. Secret 4: Learn to Be Happy Alone If you want to be happy with somebody else, you must first learn to be happy alone. Too many women feel restless, unfulfilled and unhappy without a man. One thing you must understand before you can ever expect to be happy in a relationship is that nobody can make you happy.
The only person on this earth that can make you happy is YOU. Happiness comes from within. You need to learn to be happy on your own so that when an ideal man does come along, Page 8. Besides being a nonrealistic expectation, this puts a huge amount of pressure on any man, more than most of them are prepared to bear and you will probably find yourself alone again sooner or later.
Being happy by yourself is not an impossible dream, but it might take some attitude adjustments. When all is said and done, being happy is a choice. You can either choose to be happyor unhappy. Life is so much easier, and better, when you choose to be happy!
One of the main lessons about being happy alone is that you must learn to be your own best friend. You must learn to nurture yourself, to give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for a job well done and console yourself when something in your life goes awry. Slow down, take a deep breath, and start learning how to be alone without being lonely.
Once you have mastered that life lesson, you will have so much more to bring to a relationship. When you are happy alone, you are more apt to attract stable, confident men. Who wants to be around a Debbie Downer?
There is an old saying that misery loves company and it aptly applies to the type of man you attract if you are miserable. Secret 5: This is not to say that clingy, needy women are attractive to men because in most cases…. But, the majority of men glory in the subtle differences between the sexes and appreciate a truly feminine female. It simply means that you allow your soft, feminine side to show in ways that men find attractive and appealing. Page 9. Chivalry is not dead and modern men still bask in the glow of being a knight in shining armor for a Lady Fair.
While it is important to be a friend to a man, this will only take you so far unless that is all you ever want to be. Men are not attracted in a romantic way to their homies. When asked to name the five traits they look for in a dream woman, a large proportion of the men surveyed listed being feminine, either directly or in so many words.
Here are some comments from the survey: Tender and nurturing. Has some solid advice about how communication differs in relationships compared to dating. The Bad It's written for both men and women, and sometimes seems like it's more directed at women.
A lot of unoriginal and outdated material. Doesn't really give you a system to follow, so some people will find it difficult to implement. The Bottom Line The product is centered around conversation, but it covers communication in a more general sense. The book is written by two women, aimed at both men and women, so it's not really a blueprint that focuses on how to meet and attract women. Much of the content has been sourced from other books, resources and studies on dating and communication, with basically all of the examples of what to say to people coming from the pick up community.
Many of the examples are over ten years old and not taught anymore, as there is better advice out there. If you're looking for conversational advice to help you with dating, you'd be better to check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy. If you're in a relationship, or considering being in one, this book will give you a better idea of how to communicate effectively with your partner, from a woman's point of view.
It's based around the idea that men and women have different ways of communicating, and that you'll have more success by understanding where the other sex is coming from.
This book isn't written solely for men, so at times it gives pretty generic advice as it attempts to appeal to both men and women. One of the downsides of this is it makes the book really long, much longer than it really needs to be. There are times where you'll have to wade through advice that is only relevant for women, so it might get frustrating. The positive side is you'll get to see some example conversations between men and women, with details on what each is trying to achieve via the conversation.
So if you're sometimes talking to women and don't really understand the reasons why behind what they say, this will help to a certain extent with that. The book is divided into three sections, with the first being on the principles of communication, the second on dating, and the third on relationships.
Principles Of Communication The backbone of this module is how men and women communicate in different ways. That men use words to 'do something' i. To illustrate this, there's a fictional dialogue presented between a man and a woman waiting at a bus stop.
It might be a bit exaggerated, but it serves to show how each gender typically views the point of conversation, and what happens when you can't relate to where the other person is coming from.
For guys who don't have much experience talking to women, it'll be useful to see this and wrap your head around why women communicate the way they do. So in the future when you think they are talking about things that seem pointless and irrelevant, you'll be able to look deeper and see what is really motivating them. There's also a brief explanation of the stages that happen along the way from first spotting someone through to having sex.
Nothing too revolutionary here, and just basic stuff you'll have heard before. Similarly, there's talk of Neuro-Linguistic Programming NLP and creating rapport, all of which sounds like it is rehashed from other books and resources on the subject. So if you've read anything on communication, NLP, body language etc.
Secret 4: Learn to Be Happy Alone If you want to be happy with somebody else, you must first learn to be happy alone. Too many women feel restless, unfulfilled and unhappy without a man. One thing you must understand before you can ever expect to be happy in a relationship is that nobody can make you happy. The only person on this earth that can make you happy is YOU. Happiness comes from within.
You need to learn to be happy on your own so that when an ideal man does come along, Page 8. Besides being a nonrealistic expectation, this puts a huge amount of pressure on any man, more than most of them are prepared to bear and you will probably find yourself alone again sooner or later.
Being happy by yourself is not an impossible dream, but it might take some attitude adjustments.
When all is said and done, being happy is a choice. You can either choose to be happyor unhappy. Life is so much easier, and better, when you choose to be happy! One of the main lessons about being happy alone is that you must learn to be your own best friend.
You must learn to nurture yourself, to give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for a job well done and console yourself when something in your life goes awry. Slow down, take a deep breath, and start learning how to be alone without being lonely. Once you have mastered that life lesson, you will have so much more to bring to a relationship.
When you are happy alone, you are more apt to attract stable, confident men. Who wants to be around a Debbie Downer? There is an old saying that misery loves company and it aptly applies to the type of man you attract if you are miserable. Secret 5: This is not to say that clingy, needy women are attractive to men because in most cases….
But, the majority of men glory in the subtle differences between the sexes and appreciate a truly feminine female. It simply means that you allow your soft, feminine side to show in ways that men find attractive and appealing.
Page 9. If you let your gentleness and femininity show, it often brings out the best in a man. Chivalry is not dead and modern men still bask in the glow of being a knight in shining armor for a Lady Fair.
While it is important to be a friend to a man, this will only take you so far unless that is all you ever want to be.
Men are not attracted in a romantic way to their homies. When asked to name the five traits they look for in a dream woman, a large proportion of the men surveyed listed being feminine, either directly or in so many words. Here are some comments from the survey: Tender and nurturing. Good homemaker. Great cook. Good with children. Feminine charm.
Sweet and feminine. Be feminine. They want a womanly, feminine female for a romantic relationship. There are various ways you can exhibit your feminine side without coming across as too dependent. For example, allow your date to open doors for you.
Let him change your flat tire if he wants to, instead of calling roadside assistance. When you show your feminine traits, this tends to make a man feel more masculine and manly, which is good for both of you. Get in touch with your feminine side. Let it shine through when appropriate and you will find that most men will respond very favorably to it.
Secret 6: Do you feel that you must exert a tight control over every area of your life, including your relationships with the opposite sex? Does it seem likely to you that if you relinquish complete control in a relationship, your male partner will make a mess of things? If you answered yes to any or all of those questions, you will need to overcome your controlling nature if you hope to attract and hold the man of your dreams!
Honestly, most men simply do not like a controlling woman. There are multiple reasons for this. Hardly flattering, is it? This sort of control is a put down to the other person in a relationship. It implies that they are stupid, incompetent, ineffectual…. But, when you insist on controlling everything down to the last little detail…. If you are a control freak, all is not lost. It was learned behavior and it can be un-learned.
If you really want to be successful with men, it would definitely behoove you to start the process of relinquishing control NOW. Of the who responded, more than a few commented on being frustrated by a woman who was too controlling.
Here are just a few of the responses: Feeling forced or coerced to doing something or behaving in certain way. Too dependent and controlling. Just trying to have everything their way or no way. They want to control the man. The need to control and to ' sit on top of me ' when I just need my own space.
So, take an honest look at yourself and determine whether or not you are a control freak. If you are, start overcoming those tendencies to rule everything with an iron hand or face a future minus a man for a healthy relationship. Secret 7: Be a Good Listener If you want a man to listen to you and what you have to say, you need to first learn to listen to him and really hear what he has to say. All too often, we have a tendency to talk at someone instead of with them.
This can be the Kiss of Death to a romantic relationship. Which you have. This is so not the way to win friends and influence people and not the way to attract Mr.
Right and keep him interested in you. If you want to be interesting to a man, you must be interested in him. Practice your listening skills and fine tune them. The next time you are out on a date, or talking to a man you would like to go out with, do a little less talking and a lot more listening. If you are genuinely interested in him, show it by truly listening to what he has to say. In a survey that asked men that were currently in a relationship what they would change about their partner, being a good listener came up time and again.
This is a trait that is important to most men and a wise woman would be well advised to sit up and take notice of some of the responses from the men surveyed: Talk less and listen more. Talking 'at me' NOT 'with me' Why You can learn to be a good listener at any age. Sometimes, men and women alike may chatter out of nervousness. Do you fall into this category? When you are having a conversation with a man you are attracted to, do you sometimes catch yourself rattling on with barely a break to catch your breath, out of nervousness?
This, too, can be corrected. When you next find yourself in this scenario, make a conscious effort to control your nervous gabbing and allow the man to speak. When he doesreally listen! You will find that being a good listener will greatly enhance your attraction for the opposite sex. Secret 8: Keep It Real Sometimes, women want to find the perfect man so badly that they overlook glaring deficiencies or bad character traits in men, hoping that in spite of evidence to the contrary, this flawed individual will miraculously be transformed into someone for a good relationship.
In extreme cases, a woman may ignore every red flag the man throws up, literally denying the existence of what is right before her eyes because she so desperately wants a relationship.
This is a recipe for disaster and has led to disaster countless times. There is an old saying among country folk: For example, you are out with a man and see him kick a friendly little dog that merely approached him in a non-threatening way. If you are desperate enough for a relationship and determined to find a way to make this Page Maybe he was bitten by a dog when he was a child, you tell yourself, and so is irrationally terrified of canines as an adult and lashed out at the dog out of fear instead of inhumane cruelty.
Maybe he was afraid the dog would bite you and kicked it away out of some misbegotten effort to be your protector. In many cases, a man will tell a woman everything she needs to know about the inadvisability of trying to hook up with him long term. Instead of taking this information for what it isthe cold, hard truthsome women who intensely want him to be their soul mate in the face of all evidence to the contrary will refuse to heed his all too revealing words.
If he says that he will never get marriedtake it to the bank. He does mean it. When those warning flags wave, keep it real and move on. Secret 9: Look Your Best Men are visual. Once you recognize this incontrovertible fact, you will understand that smart women work at looking their best in order to be attractive to men.
Looking your best and being attractive to men does not mean that you have to be a raving beauty. Not by a long shot. Some of the most legendary women in history, those that had men at their feet, were not considered great beauties.
But, these women were fascinating to men because of other qualities. Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even though men are very visual, who do you think most of them would prefer for a serious, long term relationship: Still, you should always do your best to look your best. This means good hygiene, clean, shiny hair, neat and attractive clothing, etc.
A survey that asked men to list the top five traits their dream woman would possess showed how important it is to most males that a woman keep up her appearance. Here are some of the replies: Takes care of herself as in hygiene and appearance.
Taking care of herself. Neat and inviting at all times. Attractive - takes care of herself. It seems apparent that if you want to attract and hold a man, you should make every effort to keep yourself clean, neat and well groomed. In the final analysis, simply keeping up your appearance is what matters the most.
Contrary to that old axiom…. Secret Try a Little Tenderness Males have long been leery of allowing their more tender feelings to show, believing this is less macho and makes them seem like wimps. By the same token, they are often Page When it gets right down to the nitty gritty, men usually like being shown some tenderness and will respond well to it.
Sometimes, when a woman treats a man with tenderness, this opens the door for him to reciprocate, which creates a win-win situation for both parties. Think about an occasion when someone treated you with tenderness. The average man will react and respond the same way. It means that at the appropriate times, when a little tenderness and caring would probably make him feel better if he has had a bad experience or a loss of some sort, you show him some tenderness.
You might be surprised at the benefits this will reap for your relationship. During hard times, we all like to feel that someone is in our corner…. Men are no different. If you want to maintain a close, loving relationship with a man, try a little tenderness! Communicate Did you know that communicationor the lack thereofis one of the top frustrations many men experience in their relationships with women?
The importance of learning to be a good communicator cannot be stressed enough. It plays a major role in your ability to attract the man of your dreams and keep him by your side; in love with you.
Great communication can elevate a so-so relationship to a great relationship and in some cases, save a relationship that is on the rocks. Have you ever felt hurt and frustrated because you felt that a man failed to understand Page This is a fairly frequent occurrence in any interaction between the sexes for both men and women alike. Why is communication between men and women often such a problem?
There is scientific data and a great deal of research to show that the greatest barrier to good communication between men and women is that they communicate differently. This begins during childhood, when girls tend to choose other girls as playmates and boys gravitate toward other boys. Girls and boys develop different communication styles. Girls will usually have fewer playmates than boys and will talk more, confiding in their friends, telling secrets and sharing feelings.
Boys, on the other hand, are more likely to play in larger groups of other boys and use language to show their status by the demonstration of their abilities or skills, as well as challenging other boys. So, as time goes on, these two very different methods of communication carry on into adulthood and what do you have then?
You have females who are apt to talk more than males and be more open about their feelings, and males who are more action oriented and likely to show rather than tell how they feel. Obviously, this is not conducive to a harmonious relationship. But, it can be vastly improved if you take some time to work on understanding how most men communicate and adapt your own communication style just a bit, to accommodate these differences and facilitate understanding between the two of you. It will be well worth the effort!
To give you an idea of just what a hot spot communication is with men when dealing with women, look at some of these responses from a survey that asked men what they would change about their women if they could: Lack of communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Not in a relationship 6 months but it seems to always be the communication issue for me. Very secretive and non-communicative about important issues. There can be no doubt that learning how to be a good communicator with the opposite sex is extremely instrumental in your success with men.
Neediness is a turn off, in either gender and in any relationship. When someone is too needy, our instinct is usually to pull away and get some distance.
Needy people, whether they are friends, romantic partners or even coworkers, make most of us feel smothered and frankly, annoyed. To a lot of men, a needy woman is their worst nightmare.
Most males, at some point or another, have gotten involved with a needy woman and are exceedingly gun shy about ever having to extricate themselves from this type of female again, avoiding them like Typhoid Mary. When someone is needy, they come across as weak, insecure and with low self confidence.
They come across this way because they are this way. Strangely enough, a woman might be terrifically strong and self confident in other areas of her life, such as her career, but be a total mass of quivering neediness when involved in a romantic relationship.
There are undoubtedly tons of psychological reasons for this phenomenon. However, if you are needy, for whatever reasonget over it! As we talked about earlier, men like confident, independent women. First, make an honest assessment of your attachment style with men.
Are you high maintenance, requiring a lot of time and attention? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions….. In order to attract the right kind of men and hold their interest, you absolutely must conquer the worst of your neediness.